he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
