I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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