He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
