This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
