why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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