I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize