Fuck appropriateness.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
