I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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