I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
