so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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