So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
