idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
MIDGETS
????
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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