i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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