The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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