So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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