thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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