yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
