do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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