Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
