i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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