I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
