It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
