let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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