Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
