I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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