Will you blow on my dice?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
