Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
