You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
