I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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