I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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