remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
