you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
