3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
