Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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