The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
