I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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