He is an equal opportunity slut.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
