She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
