Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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