All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
