READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
