She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
my liver is dry heaving
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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