He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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