Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
