Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
