i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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