Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
