24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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