i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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