Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize