There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
