Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I will be naked everywhere
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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