I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
