So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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