and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
