and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
