awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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