Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
