They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
