Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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