I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize