I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
