I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Randomize
