For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
