Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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