where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
