i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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