When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
