Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
40s are totally the cure
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
