ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
