it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
