do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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