I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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