listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
